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Wolf Halton

I completely agree. I have been a computer hardware troubleshooter for many years, and there is rarely any reason to figure out "why." Start with "what" is happening, for instance "results are not what was expected" and work from there. Often there is an environmental problem that can be corrected. The user doesn't then go back and show everybody what was wrong, and in essence recreate the problem to show how bad it was. We all have an inclination to do just that with problems that happen to us. Like my niece who had a splinter at the age of 6. She came in from playing, saying, "I have a splinter! I have a splinter"

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes! it is awful. See?" She displays the finger with the splinter in it.

"I can remove it for you. Do you want me to do that?"

NO! It Would HURT!"

In essence, when we relive and recount past pains, we are bringing the splinter out of its safe hidey-hole in memory and putting it back in our finger to hurt all over again.


Let's be honest: if one has had from baby age on, loads of abuse , negligence etc., then it is harder to get into this positive thinking and feeling mood than if one has had a relatively 'normal' childhood. Children of holocaust survivors, incest survivors, anybody who comes from severe oppression, knows what I mean. You can think wonderful thoughts, get into the flow, and then all of a sudden the dark ghosts from the past come back again: feelings of resentment, anger, rage, depression, fear, etc. It is not so easy then simply to 'change your thoughts'. sometimes deep inner work is needed: voice dialogue, embracing all these feelings inside yourself, lots of love for all the abused parts. Forgiveness work is important, but not too soon, not as a sugar coating over the 'bad' feelings. When you have done this work, it is easier to go with the flow and start dreaming big, without the dark thoughts/feelings coming up strongly again.
Lots of loving acceptance for yourself, that is the main thing!


One of the sharpest people I know said it this way, "The best explaination there is as to what God is is The Force." And I agree. So how are you using The Force (the energy of your thoughts interacting with All That Is)? Not liking the results--change your thought and emotional energy! I love it!

Jan Cartier

Practice. Like any skill practice is the key. Over time it gets better. It is a choice. The one thing you can control are your thoughts, your feelings and your actions. Whoever told you you couldn't, well, are you going to listen to that?If you get things from books, there is an excellent one on cognitive therapy behavior called "Feeling Good". If you work it, it works for you to rid yourself of some defeating behaviors-not to change who you are. First rule of thumb is show up, and you are here aren't you? Make another choice, and then another. Each moment forward is yours, not anyone else's.


FYI to anyone interested -- there are many self-help tools available to aid you in dealing with the compulsive effects of early-learned behaviours and beliefs. One of the most effective is EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique; I've used EFT for myself and clients for several years with excellent results in this area, and regard it as a true blessing to healing. The main website is www.emofree.com.

Rev. Angelica

I KNOW this one from personal experience!
And I also know that one way out is to stop telling the story! At one point, I realized something good must have come out of that time period, so I started focusing on that instead. Now I know who I am, and it isn't that person who suffered so much rejection. That was part of my history, but it isn't who I am now.
The day I realized that, I also realized that my old story was a habit - a habitual belief I was no longer willing to entertain.
I KNOW for all of us that have experienced these same feelings that we can let them go and experience the fullness of our Being - which is LOVE!
PS - I adore the splinter story!! It just might show up in one of my blogs :)


EFT is brilliant for releasing present feelings around past 'stuff'. I would also recommend Healing of the Memories which can change perceptions of the past. The memory doesn't disappear, but it does lose its power to generate negativity.


This is particularly addressed to Eva ... even if we suffered loads of abuse and negligence, we still want to feel that joy and purity of self and being. And there is a way to clear that, even for people who endured the holocaust or Viet Nam. It is called Emotional Freedom Technique,EFT for short, as Jo recommended. I recommend it for any one with a deep issue or a BIG ISSUE because those are the easiest and fastest to resolve with EFT. Echoing Jo: go to the main website at www.emofree.com and find a practitioner. Bless you!

Marina (UK)

Hello my dear prosperity friends,

Knowing that I can choose my reality now has been my key to freedom from past horrid realities.

I do understand about the flashbacks though, each time this happens for me I say to myself things like, I deserve the best now, God wants me to have all my desires, I am safe now, I can trust people.

If the flashback is severe I will write, but not send a letter to the person who hurt me and then burn it and ask God to deal with it for me. Another thing I do is a reality check meditation, that is I will focus on each of my 5 senses in turn, what exactly can I see/hear/taste/smell and physically feel?

I believe that the way to truly heal from the past is to stay with and learn the law of attraction principles. People like us just so deserve the absolute best that life has to offer. We will be so appreciative and generous to others when our desires arrive.

With kind regards from Marina (UK)

Sue Burness

I'm so grateful that Energy Therapy has come into my life. A skilled therapist, using a combination of modalities, including EFT, is helping me to clear beliefs that have held me back, including those that resulted from some trauma. I love the computer analogy. The negative stuff really is like software-and we can install new programs!


Thank you dear sweet people who responded to my mail about deeply ingrained "distress patterns". I do know EFT, I've downloaded the manual and watched several of the training videos. I haven't found a practitioner yet, and sometimes it is hard to think of contradictions to the 'negative' feelings myself. I am from the baby boom generation, haven't been in the holocaust (thank G-d) but am the child of a mother who couldnot really bond with her baby, being in shock after the loss of her parents and family. So my patterns are more: lack of contact, feeling this basic unsafety in the world, having had to 'parent my mother' instead of the other way round. Still I manifested lots in my life the past twenty years. Financial security, a home, spiritual friends, the possibility to travel between the Middle East and Europe, for instance. But this basic feeling of not being completely safe, and the existential loneliness, is still there and the feeling of not deserving all this good. I just completed an assignment for a magazine I write for, and I had to stay in a hotel in order to be at the Conference I needed to cover, very early in the morning. I chose a cheap hotel, not wanting to charge too much expenses to the Jewish magazine I write for. (It was a horribly shabby hotel!But I met two wonderful elderly people there, new contacts.) Later I heard that the organizers of the Conference I did write about, had wanted me to stay another day and probably would have covered some of my expenses in their, more luxurious hotel! But I am so used to live economically, and certainly not to burden others financially, (I'm Dutch) that this thought never even entered my mind!! A good lesson from the Universe, and I'll work more on deserving the best, and being able to ask and be open to receive.
Shalom Namaste, Eva

Susan L Reid - Alkamae Blog

There have been some really wonderful comments here. Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to weigh in and share your thoughts, insights, and what works for you. This is what community is all about.

Kate Bacon

Thank you everyone for your own unique insights. I just want to add a thought: we change from moment to moment, so we can never be exactly the same person we were (even a second ago!) To me this simply proves that we create right NOW what we want to appear next...it's completely in our power.

Kate x

summer dreams

Hello everyone,
I am new to this blog, and I am so glad I found it. I have dealt with many painful experiences and feelings of no self worth and not being good enough. I am tired of feeling them any more. I am going to try the EFT that has been talked about here. I am ready to get rid of all of this painful baggage I have been carrying about most of my life. I want to be happy and at peace and full of joy and love. I want financial independence, and I want to be a great mom to my kids. Thank you all for your help.

steven davies

Hi everyone.
In my opinion depression is much harder to deal with than anxiety. Anxiety seems to be much more tangible. It has to do with fear and overcoming fear. Depression on the other hand seems so ambiguous. Instead of fear it's about hopelessness.

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